I have been travelling around this past year, as I have mentioned in this a few times, like going around the West Coast or travelling down south, and making more plans for driving to Rome and other smaller trips.
Now I’d like to point out that despite this travelling, I have always had a stable home that I have had for years. I’m also insanely lucky that I can travel and work, a luxury that most people do not have and I am forever thankful for.
The reason I have been asking where is home for me now, is because recently when I come back to where I live something no longer feels right. It feels comfortable, and familiar and it is certainly not to do with the people. Just when I come back I feel like I am still travelling and like I’m not fully home now.
So I started thinking, which is just never good really, does this mean that this is no longer my home? Is it just that I am ready for a change? Have I outgrown this place now that I have the freedom to travel?
In a word, yes. However I made the mistake of believing that home is a stationary place that will never move. I now feel more at home on the road and with my partner than I do in my own house. This is not a bad thing, it is certainly a surprising thing.
Home for me is where someone should feel safe, content and comfortable. Where they are able to be themselves and de-stress from their day. They want to be a couch gremlin? terrific grab a blanket and snacks and get to it. Want to be doing an insane workout but too shy for a gym full of people? Fab! grab the yoga mat and get bendy (yeah I said it).
Home is for you to be you, in any shape or form that it takes, it is where you are free from expectations of anyone including yourself. You know when you’re home because you know you can truly be yourself and that you are safe.
Now I am not saying I am going to get in a van or car and live in one for the rest of my life, I am from Scotland at the end of the day and here it is fucking freezing some winters and I would 100% freeze my arse off. If you feel that way in a country, or city, or with someone then that is your home. That is your safe space to take care of and be taken care of in
The past two years, through a pandemic I have been feeling more and more like myself and I think this where I thought home was. Is maybe not for me anymore … or I am having some sort of post lockdown crisis, who can say for sure!
If you are no longer feeling at home in your house, think about where you do feel at home. You might find that you are ready for a change or you have outgrown where you thought you belonged. That isn’t a bad thing, people should always grow and change and move forward. Experience as much as you can because the saying “Some day I will…” will go right past you and it will turn into “I wish I had” so if you feel displaced at home, get out there and meet new people, find new places and explore cities. You might find your new home in a new city or with a person you didn’t know you would meet.
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Wayward Siren 