I know I have mentioned it before, and I can’t remember in what post. For all I know it has been a constant through many of mine. I am impatient and I always tell people just go do the thing they want, or start the new routine they want, start planning the trip/life they want. Whatever it is just go do it (Nike had a point with their slogan… just saying)
Recently I have noticed a common response, including from myself until the last month. ” I want to wait until…” now in some cases this is a completely understandable answer, I want to wait until I’m certified to be a doctor… I want to wait until I’ve passed the courses to dive with sharks… I want to wait until the cars have stopped before crossing. All valid… but the ones I am waffling about are ones that are just fear based rather than solid reasons.
No one yell at me, everyones fears are different and anxiety for something is absolutely normal. I mean the ones that use “until” as an excuse not to try living because they are scared of the unknown or leaving their comfort zone. I mean it’s well named, I get not wanting to leave it. I have seen people never move forward in their life because they don’t want it to change, I understand that something new is quite scary but living the same life day in and day out is much scarier.
I can’t travel until
I can’t move until
We can’t get married until
We can’t buy that until
I can’t do this…. I can’t go here
This list carries on and I am only using some examples of recent ones I have heard. Some again have understandable reasons but most of them are saying they can’t do something until life treats them better or their luck changes.
I am sorry but life does not giving a flying fuck about your timeline. At all.
Before you know it, a good few years will have gone by and you will have lost out on many chances to do something, learn something, move forward. All because you were waiting for life to be nice, there is literally never a good time to do anything ever. So why not just go do it?
This is from experience on both ends by the way, the moronic impulsive choices that did lead to good things and some stupid memories and scars as reminders not to do it. Also as the person who recently has been saying “until” that is until around 2-3 weeks ago my body decided to remind me in the most painful way it could that life does not care for timescales. Landing me in the hospital for a long weekend of pain, needles, prodding, pills and many tests.
Now, the reason I was in, was not life threatening and I ended up being ok. However that does not change the experience that in the beginning it was scary and no one knew what was wrong, and no this is not a “all I could think was…” cause no, you know what I was thinking? life? love? regrets? no. I was thinking where the fuck is that needle going!
It was only after I was recovered and home again I was alone with my thoughts and realised that what happened was actually scary and worrying, then by human nature thought about the what ifs and that is when my brain made me think of the things I would still love to do, see, explore, experience. Only then did I realise for most of this year I was an “Until” person and I personally do not want to be the one making excuses and standing in my own way.
Now of course there will be things that are just obvious holds up, such as “I can’t travel there until I have a bit more savings” sensible but still moving forward. Money, especially with the current UK situation, will be the normal hold up for things for a lot of people and it is understandable. My personal way around that is extreme budgeting, using literally everything I have in the house before I buy more of anything and using birthdays or Christmas to get other things like skincare/body care things, saves me money and still looking after myself. I love charity shops so anytime I want to shop for something I can usually do it by spending less than £10 if I’m lucky.
This is not the same for everyone, but for me this is how I manage it and walking places instead of using my car (sort of depends on where I am though to be fair) but aside from this, there is not really much holding many people back from just doing the thing.
Try to kill your “until” habits ( unless your “until” is a person in which case for the love god do not follow my advice!) even if it’s something small, try it out and see how it feels. It might not feel any different but it might also be the thing that makes your mind click and want to try so many more new things.
If it is something that feels right, and will make you happy. Then why make a fuss, why not just go for it and see what happens. Could be a funny story one day or the best step you’ve made in your life. Kill the “until” and kill a bad habit.
B x
Wayward Siren 