Go date yourself

So I have recently, and by recently I mean for at least the last year or maybe more? Have been taking myself out and about.

Why is this worth posting about? Because I bloody want to. SO… For a long time I found myself doing things with other people. Long walks, going to shops and generally always having company. Have I confused you? Good.

There is nothing wrong with spending time with your friends, far from it I do actually love being in the company in my friends and doing these things with them. However I realised one day that it felt like I couldn’t do these things UNLESS I had someone with me. It was like I forgot I could do these things without someone chaperoning me (a high number of people disagree with this statement)

So I decided I needed to get back to being comfortable with myself again. I’m a big fan of protecting your peace and that includes spending time alone just doing every day things. So I began with the easiest ones of going to the shop or walks by myself again. To be honest this was the lazy way of easing into it, just hop in the car and off I go and I was always too distracted in shops to notice I was alone to be honest.

The harder part for me was doing something that was typically done with someone, for example lunch in a cafe. Sounds simple enough but if you have spent a long time never going anywhere alone this can be a very alien feeling to you. It felt that way to me anyway but I wanted to get back to pottering around by myself. I grabbed my book and off I went in my car to find somewhere, anywhere really that I could have a chunk of time to myself.

Ended up in a small seaside town of all things, not much in the way of tourism which was perfect. I wandered around a bit to get my bearings before sitting on the beach and reading for a while. No music and no other distractions, just simply listening to the waves and birds around me. With the lack of tourism attractions this meant the beach was actually very quiet minus the odd dog or two coming flying out of nowhere towards me in hopes of treats.

Honestly I’m not really sure how long I was sat there for, I think I just read until I got hungry but there was so many cafes around so this gave me a second chance to just wander about working out which ones looked the best to try. Have to be honest, I went in and immediately wanted to leave. Not because of anything they did but just my own self being there alone and everyone looks at the door when it opens just made me want to turn heel.

Stomach had other plans though, it was running the show so I did force myself into the cafe and sit myself down in the corner out the way. Now I was still fully armed with my book or my phone, but the point was to not need these things to be alone. No one should need a form of armour just to eat by themselves.

I forgot how easy it was to just be alone, I realised that sounds weird but as I said when you spend so much time around other people. The idea of doing things alone sometimes throws your mind through a bit of a loop.

In a rather funny turn of events, I have now spent so much time learning to be by myself again and protecting my own peace that I now rarely entertain the idea of hanging out with many people. Clearly I need to work on balance a bit better but oh well.

The point to this is that I hope you take yourself out, and I don’t mean by assassination. Take yourself on the lunch date, take yourself on a woodland walk or go to the cinema yourself. Why do we feel we need to go do these things with someone or we can’t do it at all?

Sure it’s nice to enjoy things with someone, but if no one is available don’t let that be the thing that stops you from doing something. There might be other people there in the same boat and you may end up making a friend. Unless you are like me and have resting bitch face so no one talks to you… try smiling or something I don’t know.

Point being! Go do the thing. Go date yourself and treat yourself to days out and you never know what it could end up turning into.

B x

Working from home

Well let off a fair amount of steam in my previous post, so back to fun things or helpful things!

I’ve been working from home now for a week, as I’m lucky enough the charity I work for as the ability to allow the staff to do this. So been having a think about ways to stay motivated or productive with this. It is really easy to become unmotivated, thinking well i’m working from home I’ve no need to get dressed! i can do my work in my bed, or the sneaky one no one see’s coming, over eating without realising it.

1: Up and dressed! I know you’re home and I know you want to stay in comfy jammies for as long as possible, but this honestly does help you get into a more focused state of mind for work. Doesn’t have to be full on work clothes either, it can still be comfy but just stick to your normal morning routine even though you aren’t leaving the house

2: Exercise! If you normally go to the gym at any part of your day, get some exercising done at home. Do lunges, run and up down the stairs, bench press the cat! (ok don’t do that one… they will scratch you) Point is, this will keep a good rhythm going and get your body more awake. It so easy to be lazy right now when we are forced to stay home but try as hard as you can stay active.

3: Set up shop! Ok so all houses will be different, but try and set up an office space as professional as you can, away from distractions if possible. So no TV, try and keep pets out the room where possible. I realise people with children will struggle with this part but if you can stay in a work frame of mind environment as much as possible this will be a easy transition for you when we all get to go back to our actual work place.

4:  Avoid the fridge! If your normal routine is to get up and have breakfast before work, do it. Have a packed lunch? you can make fresh at home and still eat the same thing you normally would. You can always cook/make something a little healthier since you’re at home but try and avoid making large meals you wouldn’t normally have or snack every time you feel you can because “why not i’m working from home!” such an easy thing to fall into, first day I worked from home i did exactly this, so now very restricted because of it.

5: Go outside! Ok now before you go gallivanting off down the street, I mean into your garden! On a work day normally you would have walked/cycled/got a bus or drove etc so you would have got fresh air, so when you get a break just go outside into the garden for a bit. Helps you stretch out, get fresh air and wakes you up a bit for your day.

This honestly just some things I’ve found helpful, I have wanted to do a million things since i’m stuck indoors all day but during work hours I just try hard to ignore the fact i’m in the house and try and keep it as normal as i possibly can. I have however learned that i can move one eye independently. It is both very cool and super creepy, but still i learned something new!

Have you discovered or learned something new since working from home? or even better have you got some tips and tricks to make it less boring and keep your morale up? I would love to know about it!

( seriously… help)

 

Stay safe and stay home!

B x

Getting over winter blues!

Originally I had planned to write a January blues post. Started writing it and realised a lot of it is just really a good way to get over those winter blues, never mind just January. It seems when November time (roughly) hits everyone gets into a slump and I hear the phrase “Seasonal affective disorder” going about a lot when this happens. Basically a form of depression that occurs in the winter months.

So I thought, after being hit particularly hard the past month by my own mental health, I would just cover ways I feel are a good way to get out of a slump and over the winter blues. This is just what works for me, only you know what will help you but it’s always worth trying something new!

You know the feeling, you’re fed up, you’re feeling a bit lazy, you can’t really be bothered with much. Just a very low mood, now I have two ways to deal with this that are actually polar opposites. 
1: Be productive
2: Relax and just have some you time. 

For me, I can’t relax unless things are tidy/clean. When i’m feeling super low I have no energy or motivation to do anything so when winter time hits I force myself to be more productive than normal. First thing of the day I always make the bed, this honestly makes me feel like i’m starting off on the right foot for the day. So I like to force myself to do even just one room or one chore, so bed room might need bed made, quick clean of the surfaces and a hoover. Job done, now the day is mine!

Cliche to say have a bath… but seriously, have a bath. Light some candles, get some music on. Fill that bitch up with bath salts, bubbles and a bath bomb. Get your butt in it and just do nothing, don’t think about what you have to do later. Stop thinking about when you should get out so you don’t waste the day. Relax, enjoy the heat, the scents and just fully chill out with the music. This is a time just for you, winter blues be damned! 

Do something for you, I don’t mean a bath. Whatever makes you feel good, get your hair done, do your make up, don’t do your make up, go to the gym (yeah I know, ugh!) sleep in, stay up late, play around with gadgets or fix ones that are broken, little bit of self care that you know boosts your mood or confidence. For me, it’s make up free and having a lie in with my animals, Simba is always happy to assist with a lazy morning. 

Go outside, yes it’s cold, yes it may be gloomy. However there is something that a walk in fresh air in nature will do for you that no amount of social media will. So switch off, go outside and look up for once. This is a year round suggestion too! I’ve been out walking so much through this winter that I have a better mood, I feel healthier for it if i’m being honest and my legs look awesome… how is that not a bonus?!

I would strongly suggest to avoid take away, I am the worst for it so this is not a preachy thing cause given the option between a good chinese or cooking my own meal… I’m having chinese! but honestly I have been trying very hard to avoid food waste, and eating healthier. Cooking your own meals at home is not as boring as people think. Get some music on, make it fun! Try new recipes, get friends round and make a night of it or go to theirs and save yourself some money and be social to boot! 

Honestly, these usually work for me. Little bit of everything goes a long way, but you know what. If your body is telling you today is not the day, that’s ok. You get into your comfy clothes and grab a blanket and get yourself a duvet day on the couch. Sometimes that is what you need. Just remember you don’t need it everyday and to get back out there. Promise it’s not as miserable as it looks. 

Bx